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Lafayette Alternative Lifestyles By-Laws

© Last updated: 01/05/2018 See for the most up to date rules and regulations. (a account is required to view this link)

Article I. Mission Statement

Lafayette Alternative Lifestyles (LAL) is a safe environment to meet and learn about BDSM in all of its variety. The members of this group are from all walks of life and all experience levels. You will not be turned away as long as you are sincere in joining in fellowship and understanding of all.

Article II. Membership & Events

Section 1 – Membership
  • To be a member in good standing means that you have attended at least two public LAL functions in the last six months. (Currently, public events are That Casual Thing, Pub Night, and Business Meetings.)
  • Only members in good standing may vouch for a non-member to attend private LAL functions. (Currently, private events include Demo/Discussion Nights and Play Parties.)
  • A member in good standing may vouch for no more than two (2) non-members per private event and must be in attendance at the event.
  • If the voucher does not show up, it is at hosts discretion if the non-member can stay for the private event. Also, if the voucher does not email the board to cancel in a timely manner (no call, no show) they will be denied entrance from private events for a period of six (6) months.
  • A vouched for non-member is NOT considered a member in good standing until they have attended two public functions for themselves and therefore are NOT able to vouch for other non-members.
  • No more than 1/3 of the total headcount allowed by host will be available for vouched non-members. If, at the time of RSVP list closing, there is room available and a wait-list of non-members, we will fill to max capacity with vouched non-members on a first come, first serve basis.

The events associated with this group are a monthly business meeting, monthly casual night, monthly pub night, demos, discussions, and play parties.

Section 2 – Business Meetings

Business meetings will be held once a month. The schedule shall be determined by the board, and the meetings are open to all over the age of 18. Discussions regarding upcoming events, feedback on previous events, and new ideas and concerns may be brought up at this venue. Votes that are not election based will be held at these events. By board decision or vote of the people attending the business meeting; decisions may be postponed until the next pub night; and a subsequent vote taken there.

The date should be placed on the official LAL calendar associated with the group, and there should be an event posted on FetLife at least one week prior to the meeting.

Section 3 – Pub Night

Pub Night/munch will be held once a month at a venue of the boards choosing. It should be a place that allows for at the very least a semi private setting, and large group seating. The board is responsible for securing this space on a month to month basis. This allows for a semi formal gathering of the membership to share social time and get to know one another.

This event is open to all comers over the age of 18. This event shall also be placed on the official LAL calendar and an event posted on FetLife at least one week prior.

Section 4 – Play Parties/Demos/Discussion

One of these events should happen on a monthly basis, these events take place in private home, and are subject to not only LAL rules, but in the event of more stringent rules, that of the homeowner as well. Attendance at one of these events does require a RSVP, and the permission of the host to come. These events should be posted at least three weeks in advance of the event.

Article III. Board Composition and Duties

Section 1 – Board Composition

The board shall be made of three members elected from the membership of the group. The qualifications are outlined is Article IV.

The following represents the expected responsibilities of each board member.

  • Attend monthly business meetings.
  • Attend the other LAL functions as often as possible.
  • Be an ambassador for the group in the fetish/lifestyle community. Represent the group at other functions and groups.
  • Settling of disputes and grievances.

The following duties will be split up amongst the board members as they wish.

  • Posting of events on the official LAL calendar and on FetLife.
  • Moderating the LAL group on FetLife
  • Responding to emails sent to the board.
  • Handling RSVP’s for events, sending subsequent follow up and directions.
  • Making announcements at pub night.
  • Reserving space for all official LAL events.
  • Arranging presenters as needed.
  • Running of board meetings.
  • Maintaining the LAL treasury
  • Maintaining content of the website.

Article IV. Qualifications for Board Candidates

  • Must be a LAL member in good standing (being under no current disciplinary judgment of the board) for six months.
  • Must have attended six official LAL events in the past six months.
  • Must have attended at least three business meetings in the past six months.

Article V. Nomination and Election of Board Members

  • The candidate must be nominated by a member in good standing (this can be the member themselves).
  • Nominations will be held open for at least one full month and closed at least one week prior to election.
  • If there is an uncontested election, the candidate will be declared the winner as soon as nominations are closed.
  • A vote will be taken for contested elections and this will occur at the November pub night.
  • To be eligible to vote, you must be a LAL member for six months prior to the election, be in good standing and have attended three official functions in the last six months.
  • If you will not be at the meeting when the vote is being held, you may appoint a proxy for your vote. You may appoint your proxy by posting on the appropriate thread on FetLife, or you may also email the board and appoint your proxy that way. Proxies will be accepted up until the day before the election.
  • A sitting member of the board may be re-nominated and re-elected.
  • The successful candidate(s) will immediately assume the duties of a board member including ownership rights of the group. There will be a two month transition from the previous board to the new board to allow for easing into duties.
  • In the event that two or more members of the board are engaged in a physical/dynamic/marital relationship, only one of that group may serve at a time in the interest of fairness and impartiality.

Article VI. Removal/Resignation of a Board Member

Section 1 – Removal

Members may at anytime submit a formal letter of complaint against a sitting member of the board. A private meeting of the other board members will be called to address the complaint and investigate the issues within the complaint.

If a member of the board does not fulfill their duties as required in Article III, that officer will be notified in writing by the board of the special business meeting at which removal from office will be discussed and voted upon. At that special business meeting, the officer may present statements to the membership in an effort to retain the position.

Removal will occur if so voted by majority of the members present at the meeting. The complaint will be considered closed if the majority vote is to retain the officer.

Section 2 – Resignation

A board member may step down at anytime if they are unable or unwilling to continue serving on the board. If this happens any time prior to August, an election will be held at the next pub night using an abbreviated election process. If this occurs after August there will be no replacement on the board, though they may solicit help from the membership to keep the group running efficiently.

Article VII. Anti-Harassment Policy

LAL members and LAL event attendees follow a policy of active consent. Harassment of any person will not be tolerated.

LAL is dedicated to providing a harassment-free experience for everyone, regardless of gender, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, body size, race, age, religion, or other factors. We do not tolerate harassment in any form.

If any person engages in harassing behavior, the board of LAL will investigate (as per Article IX) and may take any action they deem appropriate, including warning the offender, expulsion from the premises, or contacting legal authorities. If you are being harassed, notice that someone else is being harassed, or have any other concerns, contact the LAL Board immediately.

Harassment can include verbal comments (derogatory comments related to gender, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, body size, race, religion, etc.), deliberate intimidation, stalking, following, harassing photography or recording, sustained disruption of conversation or other activities, inappropriate physical contact, and unwelcome sexual advances.

LAL cannot stop every hurt feeling or disagreement of opinion, nor will we set a limit on free speech. Being offended by something someone says or does may or may not constitute harassment. However, if you feel harassed LAL will take your perspective seriously and investigate. Anyone asked to stop a harassing behavior is expected to comply immediately.

Article VIII. Code of Ethics/Conduct & Rules for Events

Section 1 – General Conduct Rules
  • All members shall endeavor to exercise the utmost respect for each other.
  • All members shall respect any other member or perspective member’s race, religion, sexual preference, D/s status or kink. No disparaging or untoward remarks or actions shall be made by one member towards another.
  • All members shall respect the rights of others to be involved in the lifestyle to the extent that they wish.
  • No member shall out, or threaten to out, another.
  • No member should pressure another to participate in, or perform, any act or kink that they do not wish to.
  • All members shall respect and support the right of another to say “NO”.
  • All relationships and dynamics shall be respected.
  • All members shall respect another’s personal space and property; this includes asking permission before touching.
  • Experienced members should never take advantage of inexperienced members. They should instead utilize their experience to teach help those with less experience to discover themselves and advance in their knowledge of the lifestyle and community.
  • There shall be no trolling within the membership or those that are on the FetLife group list.
Section 2 – Business/Pub Night Rules
  • To attend a business meeting you must be at least 18 years old. To attend a pub night you must be at least 18 years old; unless the venue dictates otherwise
  • Attire must be street legal for both of these events. We suggest casual street attire that you would wear out to a restaurant. A good rule of thumb is to dress as if you were going to a vanilla function.
  • Toys and fetish gear should be left at home or in your car.
  • All food and drinks ordered at any meeting will be paid for by the person or persons ordering it.
  • Illegal drugs are strictly prohibited at all LAL events. If it is suspected that you are impaired due to an illegal substance or in possession of an illegal substance, you will be asked to leave immediately.
  • Be considerate of other vanilla patrons to the establishment and those of our members who do not want to be recognized by the vanilla patrons. Be considerate of conversation topics in your surroundings.
  • Use basic good manners. Be courteous and respectful to everyone you encounter.
Section 3 – Demo Night/Play Party Rules
  • Demo/discussion nights are for educational purposes only. Personal play at demos or discussion nights is prohibited and is restricted to our play parties.
  • You must be 18 years old to attend Lafayette Alternative Lifestyles’ play parties or demo/discussion nights. You need to have a valid driver’s license, state ID, or U.S. passport with you at all parties to verify your age in order to be admitted.
  • You will be required to sign a waiver at LAL play parties releasing the host and LAL from liability in case of an accident and to verify that you have read, understand, and will abide by LAL’s rules.
  • You must be a member and attend at least two LAL pub night, business meeting, or other LAL function, be vouched for by a known member, or meet with board member prior to the event to attend an LAL play party or demo discussion night. To vouch for a non-member means that the member takes full responsibility for the guest and his or her behavior.
  • Please come to LAL play parties and demos fully dressed in a street legal manner. For play parties, what you wear or do not wear is up to you in the play areas. In the social areas, please attempt some modicum of covering for sanitation purposes.
  • Do not touch other people without their permission; likewise do not touch another person’s toys without their permission.
  • No always means no. This is not subject to interpretation.
  • Do not interrupt scenes in progress. This includes not talking loudly or incessantly in the play spaces, not joining in a scene that you have not been specifically invited to join, and not talking to the players while they are playing. DM’s and hosts are able to interrupt the scene in the cases of safety or potential homeowner issue.
  • Do not play overly loudly. Our demos and play parties are held in private residences and extremely loud play could irritate vanilla neighbors or interrupt someone else’s scene.
  • Every play party and demo is a pitch-in where food is concerned. Please bring a snack, appetizer, or dish to share, and any beverage you wish to drink.
  • Drunkenness and illegal drugs are strictly prohibited at all play parties and demos. Alcohol is permitted if the attendant is over 21, but should be consumed responsibly. If it is suspected that you are drunk or otherwise impaired, you will be asked to leave. Underage drinking or possession of illegal drugs at any LAL event will not be tolerated and results in immediate expulsion from the group.
  • Cameras, cell phones, and other recording devices are strictly forbidden in the play area unless consent is given. Please make sure your cell phone is set on vibrate or silent at LAL demos or play parties.
  • Sexual activity at LAL play parties is at the hosts discretion.
  • There will be dungeon monitors at all LAL parties. If something goes wrong, let the dungeon monitor and/or host know immediately. Failure to heed a DM’s instructions can result in a banning from future events.
  • Make sure you are aware of and respect the house rules. These are at the discretion of the host/hostess and must abide by all LAL play party rules. It is important to make yourself familiar with the house rules at each function as they may change from event to event depending on who is hosting. House rules may be more stringent than LAL event rules.
  • Extreme scenes, including, but not limited to fisting, blood play, and fire play are prohibited without the express permission of the host and Dungeon Monitor. If you are in doubt as to whether your scene would be allowed, please ask, and abide by their decision.
  • The house safe word is always “RED”. Any scene must immediately cease if “RED” is called. Personal safe words will also be respected, and any scene must stop if one is called. Regardless of your orientation, make sure you are familiar with your partner’s chosen safe word.

Any violations of the Code of Ethics/Conduct will result in sanctions as determined by the board.

Article IX. Grievances and Sanctions by the Board

Section 1. LAL Event Violations

Members of LAL and event attendees should report incidents of harassment, consent violations, or rule violations by individuals at LAL events.

If you experience or witness a violation at an event, contact a member of the board immediately at the event. Ideally, the board can investigate and resolve the situation immediately. In other cases where the accuser needs additional time to report, reports should be made in writing and give as many details of the incident as possible including date, location, any witnesses, and details of the situation. The report should be emailed to

Once the incident report has been received, the entire board will review it with two goals: safety of members and due process. Every accusation will be taken seriously and investigated, and both the accuser and accused will be allowed to present testimony and evidence (either in person or in writing). The accused and accuser (and/or accuser’s advocate) do not need to be present at the same time. After reviewing all information, the board will make a decision on how to handle the situation. Any actions taken will reflect the credibility of the information and the seriousness of the offense. Possible actions to be taken can range from verbal warnings, extra monitoring at events, instruction on proper behavior, removal from events, or expulsion from LAL. All actions may be enforced for variable amounts of time to indefinitely.

In the event that a grievance is made against a board member, the remaining two shall ask a third member (preferably a former board member) to join in the deliberations.

Section 2. Extra-LAL Violations

Members of LAL and event attendees may report incidents of harassment or consent violations by individuals who may attend LAL events. LAL cannot be held responsible for the actions of others at non-LAL events. However, we can strive to keep a safe community. Thus, the board may choose to research the veracity of those allegations based on the credibility of the information. Should hard evidence (e.g. police records, restraining orders, emails/texts) or credible and substantiated accuser(s) and first-person account(s) be obtained, the LAL Board may choose to proceed as though an incident report had been received as per Article IX.1.

Section 3. Privacy

The board will do its best to maintain the privacy of the reporter, witnesses, and person in question. LAL members may not be privy to the board’s decision or deliberation.

Article X. Amendment of By-laws

Petitions to change these By-laws must be presented to the board in writing to be considered. When significant changes to these By-laws are proposed, they shall be explained and discussed at a business meeting, the changes are then posted on FetLife to be seen by the membership, those will be reviewed at the next Business Meeting where any changes that are agreed on by the majority can be made. The new proposals are posted, and the vote would be done at the following pub night. The final vote is strictly a yes or no vote, there will not be changes made there. In the event that a bylaw revision is defeated or amended, there must be a period of one calendar year (from the date of the defeat) before that bylaw can be submitted again.

Article XI. Committees

Educational Committee: the board may appoint an Educational Committee to be responsible for the preparation and presentation of instructional and educational materials to the group. These will include obtaining guest speakers for future events, and possibly establishing and maintaining an educational library for member use.

Party committee: The board may appoint a party committee to help set up, tear down and clean up at demos and parties.

Additional Committees may be appointed as deemed necessary by the board.

Article XII. Fees and Assessments

A voluntary collection will be taken at pub night. These funds are to be accounted for by a board member and an accounting given each month. These funds may be used to fund future events deemed appropriate by the membership.

Article XIII. Dissolution of the Group

This group maybe dissolved with a (2/3) two-thirds majority vote of the current active membership.